So yesterday I decided I was going to keep a journal of entries and prayers for my future husband. So that when we get married I can show him the booklet and how I honored him throughout the years… and well if I don’t get married I have a nice keepsake for myself!
While I was writing in it I realized how much I have learned about relationships and maintaining healthy relationships. So I decided that I needed to write a article on 5 things Christian women should know. This is an advice from what I have learned and want to share with you.
- Your man will NEVER complete you
If you put your value as a human being in a man’s hands your up for a roller coaster. Although I’m sure men are sweet and mean well they are human. They cannot read your mind, they don’t know the perfect thing to say and ultimately they won’t always treat you like a princess. Your value comes because God made you in His image. That’s why you have value, because you have God as a transcendent giving you your value.
Until you can find your meaning in Christ you will hopelessly search for men to complete you and you will come out empty handed every. single. time. Men are to be your equal partners and you will be a team with your husband, but you cannot expect them to fulfill your greatest desires, they are only human.
Also too many times women assume the man has to be perfect and they can just lie around and be the damsel in distress. Not true! Women, start being who the person the person you are looking for is looking for. In other words don’t just look for the right person, BE the right person. Work on yourself today for your relationship tomorrow.
- If he doesn’t love Jesus it will never work
Now some Christian girl hates me right now but please listen. I’m not saying that your Non-Christian boyfriend isn’t good to you. Nor am I saying that every Christian boyfriend will treat you amazingly. What I am saying is that if you make a base of a relationship on anything but Jesus, and you are a believer either you are going to have to compromise your convictions or compartmentalize your Jesus to Sundays. Sooner or later that is going to blow up in your face.
What fellowship does light have with darkness? Besides, sooner or later the romance will die, will he still be accepting of your views after time has passed? Think about it.
Also it is really hard to maintain purity when someone is always trying to push the envelope. Unfortunately some men view purity as a “challenge” to get women in bed rather than a commitment to honor. Not all men, but some of them. So be discerning in your relationships and choose wisely.
- If he likes you he WILL respect you
Ok, this is a girl to girl talk here. If a guy likes you He will let you know! Too many girls run after the guys that treat them poorly or call once a month in hopes that he will change. HE WON’T! If he is treating you like crap at the start it isn’t going to get much better.
Now both genders are capable of treating each other poorly. What I’m saying is if a guy really cares for you he will show it. Now you’re saying that not every guy is going to treat me amazingly, that’s true. But you don’t need every guy to treat you amazingly, you just need one. This man needs to love God, love you and have character to lead your family. So stop wasting time with jerks and actually look for these qualities in others.
Ok now on a more serious note. Seriously girls you can’t change guys. You can’t, so stop trying. If a guy is addicted to porn or drinks too much you won’t change him. If he wills to change on his own he definitely can change. But it’s not your doing so pray for him and MOVE ON.
Also Christian girls we need to step up. If a guy is texting you inappropriately or is making it very clear that honoring your body isn’t his priority you need to take a stand. Don’t giggle about it, don’t reply flirtatiously. Tell him it’s not appropriate and that you’re looking for a man not a boy. Don’t settle and listen to a man degrade you. You don’t need to be rude, but you need to be firm and clear on your position.
- Singleness is not a curse
Singleness is just another season to serve God. A different season, but still a season that ultimately is for his glory. God wouldn’t keep you single for his own amusement. There is a role that you have to play for the kingdom. Now there is nothing wrong with desiring marriage, but don’t let that blind you! Enjoy your life now and pray for your spouse.
Don’t be overwhelmed in your singleness but just trust in God’s time and keep your eyes open for possible candidates. But don’t get so overwhelmed in your thoughts of marriage that you miss out in the lessons that singleness has to offer. Love God and do everything in his glory, despite the season!
- Men have feelings too
I know that men find it tough to ask out women, but I never understood how tough. Now I know. One time I was with a girl and a person who was interested in this girl started to sing a song as a joke. Now the joke was actually funny but the girl bluntly said, “That was lame.” I was speechless. I couldn’t believe she could be so rude when he was just trying to be nice.
Also this is no surprise some women lead men on, shamelessly. They like having a man that fulfills their every desire and strut about taking advantage of them when they have no intention of a relationship with them.
Women this is selfish- despite what cosmopolitan will tell you- you don’t need every man lusting after you. Treating men badly hurts them just as much as it hurts us when men treat us badly. I know its common sense but we always overlook this. Don’t aim to make a guy your lapdog or want you. It’s not fair for the man and you’re ruining your character. (Yes the subtle flirting counts too).
So there it is. I would add the dress modestly, but women hear that so often that I hope they have it ingrained in their heads.