Hello everyone, I’m super excited about this write-up not because of the topic but because I can get to write after a long hiatus. It’s almost unbelievable, but I’m so happy God is giving me another opportunity to share his word, to share my inspiration, to speak to someone out there about their confidence. And my deep prayer is at the end of these write-up, may we all become so confident of ourselves in Jesus Christ.
So over time if there is anything that has been a struggle in my life, it’s been confident of myself. From my excerpts from “Why you act the way you do by Tim Lahaye”, I’ve got the Sanguine traits, the talkative lively kind of person. But then from childhood, I’ve always had to struggle with inferiority complex. In the past years while growing up, I’ve always asked myself why I’ve had this issues and one of the big answers I got is because of the fear of the unknown. “we all have fears of which this is true”. We will all have to confront fear from time to time in our daily lives. Fear of the society thoughts about us, fear of fulfilling our purpose, fear of not being loved and so on. All these are going to be addressed in this write-up.
There is always a point in our lives we just feel a kind of emptiness and loneliness that ends up getting us depressed. We want to live for people’s acceptance, but we forget we may eventually die by their rejection because when the north accepts you, don’t be shocked the south will reject you. This is the point I would say we need God, I mean need him more than ever before. Without further ado, Let’s go deep into few sample questions: How do we overcome fear? How do we deal with uncertainties? How do we become more confident in ourselves?
What is confidence? My own simple term is confidence is when you have the courage to overcome your fears. It is when your faith is activated. It is faith taking a bold step against fear. Confidence is taking courage when you feel afraid. It is not having fears but doing what’s necessary when afraid. The devil has his ways of bringing us down – he reminds us of our pasts, reminds us of the present telling you those things you’re yet to achieve in life, and then reminds us of the future. Even though we know those scriptures like John 10: 10 which says: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life,and have it to the full.
He’ll still want to instill those fears in you. That moment you quote all the scriptures about God’s promises over your life but then you still end up in a broken state. I’ve been there a whole lot of times. But we should always realize we don’t have to be upset with God because if we can’t handle those challenges/fears, then he wouldn’t bring it our way. We should also bear in mind we can end up being miserable if we try to impress everybody. Most of us try to do this with people – we want their acceptance, we want them to jeer us up, etc and the moment they reject us, we feel probably sad or depressed. How about we come up with words like “I’ve done my best and if you ain’t impressed, How about you take it up to God”. If we all decide to do this, I think the world will be a lot sweeter and better, we just have to come to the point to take the pressure off ourselves. We are not free until “we are free of the need to impress people”.
Don’t get dressed for two hours because you want to impress the world – get dress for Jesus. Look at the mirror and say “Lord, I want to look good for you“. At this point, when someone says something negative, you look at them with a broad smile and say – It’s for Jesus. The feelings that follow is that feeling of satisfaction. Even God will look at you and say “Go Girl”.
– Confidence speaks out the God factor in you without any struggle.
– Confidence always looks forward and backward.
– Confidence always has hope because it’s positive.
– Confidence looks up and not down.
– Confidence maximizes strength. Why do we get so concerned about our weaknesses when the scripture says “His strength is made perfect in our weakness”. That weakness is there to give God the room to keep working in our lives. Even if it’s one strength you got, step out of the boat and maximize the strength in God’s glory. Romans 12: 6-8. Not using these gifts is like disrespecting it.
– Confidence gathers the right people. You don’t want to be around people who keep telling you what’s wrong with you. You got to be with those ones who sees God’s glory in your life and encourage you to keep at it.
Now, let’s talk about the secrets of a confident woman:
- A confident woman knows that she is loved (Ephesians 3:17) => Everybody wants unconditional love, we want friends that knows our weaknesses and accepts us for who we are forgetting we ain’t gonna see that kind of love anywhere. We forget everything we need in life is from God. Yes, absolutely everything.His word says “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3. God is the only true definition of Love. I don’t write to please people so if this is offensive, you got no choice to manipulate my opinion. I say this from my personal experience. God loves you, the love of God is the healing balm for everything we do in life. His love is not conditional, he is not a man who hates us and rejects us for our wrong doings. He hates sin, but he still deals with it in our lives. And so therefore, you got to know that you know that God loves you and he’ll never stop loving you no matter what you do. Isaiah 49: 15 says -“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! So feel loved with your complexion, stature, scars, etc. Being loved let you be confident to step out boldly, talk boldly, try new things, and explore the world God has given us. Our troubles, storms, challenges shouldn’t determine God’s love for us. Be rooted in his Love, nothing else should never ever take the love of God from us.
- A confident woman refuses to live in fear (Hebrews 10:38) => Anytime I’m about to try something new, I must confess I’m always scared and a lot of people feel that same way but the difference between a confident woman and a non-confident is that boldness to face your fears and get over it. The moment we get over it, it takes us a step higher than a non-confident woman. Fear of being loved, fear of failure, fear of being mocked – all this has stopped us a way in getting closer to our dreams. If you fail, try again. Never let fear rule your life.
- A confident woman has a positive attitude => At this point, I remember a time I had some issues at my workplace twice. The first time, I was all shaky and allowed the devil fill my head with negative thoughts but the second time. I said No, I spoke to myself about how special I am to God. With tears, I spoke to myself and said – Oh girl, you got a bright future in God. I started declaring positive things into my life. I said God, you’re taking me to a high place, just let your will be done. This is because I drowned myself in his word and kept reminding myself about the power in his word. Confidence and negativity are like oil and water, they just can’t mix. Being negative is a choice and not a feeling. The power to be happy lies in your hands. You can listen to sermons and tapes, read the bible, read every inspirational book, seek a counselor but NOBODY got the power to make you positive except you. It might be a struggle for you, but only you got that choice. You can tell a close friend that any time you hear me say negative things – confront me and shoot it out of my head. Put up signs all over your house and workplace that says BE POSITIVE.
- A confident woman recovers from setbacks => She refuses to live in pity. Setbacks are not failures, they are meant to make us stronger and begin again. Did you lose your job? Did you get a heart break? Tell yourself I’m doing this again, don’t let people come around and fill a bucket with their tears. I had an accident some years ago that got me some scars and then some people would be like awwww, it disfigured my legs or something and even offered advise of a plastic surgery but I said NO, This is a temporal body, my reign with christ gives me a brand new body. After all, this body will decay. From the hospital bed, I didn’t give up on my dreams of going to the university – I went to the jamb hall, lot of eyes were on me but I didn’t let it bother me. Here I am today – The apple of God’s eyes. You see, you just have to come to that point that you fill every cell of your body with positive thoughts. You glorify God with his scriptures and personalize it into your life. Avoid words like “I can’t”, “I’m not up to it”, etc. I dare you to be so positive that you drive the NEGATIVE PEOPLE AROUND YOU CRAZY. Look into the mirror every day, give a broad smile to yourself, call your name and declare the positive things of God into your life. Say words like “I can do this”, “I’m a woman of God”, “Through him, it’s possible”. Nobody else got that except you dear.
- A confident woman avoids comparisons: The bible says thou shall not covet. Don’t want their house, their talent, their car. He has made you unique and you got that freedom when you know who you are in christ. You’re gifted, you got grace that covers you. The moment you try to do things you aren’t called for – the moment your joy decreases. It’s just like a 5 years old boy who wants to carry a gallon of water that only an adult can carry. He’ll end up not happy and maybe even cry at his first attempt to lift it. This is what happens when we compare ourselves to others and want to live their lives according to their standards. It makes us live a lie that displeases our soul. Stop wanting what somebody else has. Oh, I’m meant to be promoted, I want that contract. STOP IT. If it was meant for you, God will give you. Stop living in miseries because of your comparisons. It leads you into sin. Because of this attitude, some of us have been doing things God is not protecting. Then, we end up lamenting God doesn’t love us. We should realize the devil sometimes use this to distract us from God’s purpose for our lives. He won’t put his feet into what he hasn’t called you to do. Follow your own dreams and vision.In the process of doing what God wants you to do, you’ll drive those people you want to impress crazy.
- A confident woman takes action: She takes initiative, she’s aggressive and not passive. Stop talking about the problem, bring a solution about the problem. Don’t be a problem, Be a solution.
- A confident woman does not live in “if only” and “what if”. Examples like: –
- If only I wasn’t abused.
- If only I had more education.
- If only I wasn’t from a broken home
- If only I had more money.
- If only I wasn’t single.
- If only I had more friends.
- If only I have someone to help me – God is the helper dear.
It’s time you rise up and be that person God wants you to be. He’s got an exciting future you. Rise above your fears, Rise above your doubts. Step out of your comfortable zone. It’s time to stop waiting for something else – a prophesy, a word, one more angel, one more confirmation. It’s time to start fulfilling purpose and doing what God wants you to be. Remain #Komplete in Christ. Have a lovely weekend.